Today started as most Mondays, lots of visits from nurses.
also, a visit from the social worker, wanting me to fill out a form for what might be needed in the way of help in the future.
Since no one knows what the future holds, it was difficult. Questions like "Do you feel comfortable with your situation?" NO! of course not, why would that even be a question.
The one question, concerning the future did relate to what my thinking has been lately. Over the past 20 years, off and on I have made and donated gowns to the hospital for the wee ones that need extra nursing or for the wee ones that don't make it. No one packs a burial gown! I enjoyed doing that but now, it has taken all a whole new meaning.
Now, it is meaning that I really am helping someone through a horrible time in their lives. So, I do see that I can keep going. I am collecting all I can in the way of material, patterns and even trying my hand once again at crochet. January, I will have no time for any self-pity.
Dementia is horrible, just horrible. The person with dementia, has no clue what is happening, only know that something is not right. some days we swing almost normal, the next day or even hour, that is gone. The person goes into a state of confusion, scared, angry, unable to cope. You, as a caretaker have no choice at that time to do anything.
I was talking with one of the nurses about how this all feels, how you remove yourself from the situation and just do what needs to be done. Probably enough rambling for the day.
I do thank all of you for your prayers, that means the world to me. I know some of you have been through very, very hard heartbreaking times. I do hold on to the fact, you survived!