Even the word caretaker can mean so many different things. Caretaker of a garden, a daycare, those seem to be okay caretaker jobs.
Taking care of a loved one in failing health, well that is different. I am having a hard time even believing there are people that chose to do caretaking as a job!
I am a accidental caretaker. I didn't chose this, I don't even know how to do it. Yet, it is something I do every day 24 hours a day. Do I have to? Not really. There are places that take in people who have Alzheimer/ Dementia.
I chose to learn this job, to do it the best I can because I love my Steve with all my heart.
The biggest challenge so far for me, which surprises me is taking the time to care for me. Kind of like the caretaker needs a care taker. The hospice nurses are great about asking me if I need anything, they ask "What can I do for you?"
I have to do it for myself. I have to answer to me. I make promises to myself and then I break those promises. what kind of friend does that? I have a volunteer, that will come in and stay with Steve, while I go do something and I actually set a time for her to come and for me to go and I want to break that promise to me. the promise that I will go out and at least drive to a store and look around.
I break out in a sweat just thinking about it. My scheduled day to go is tomorrow and I want to cancel.
We have an amazing valley, so full of beauty, yet I stopped looking, stopped exploring, stopped living.
I quit on me.