I did the unthinkable

I can't believe I did that!   I have developed such a short fuse, that one tiny little thing just sent me over the edge.

I think this past year has been hard on a lot of us, but when you are already pretty much a shut in, getting even more isolated sure doesn't help.  Add to that pile on's. Steve, hurt himself, nothing serious, just a pulled muscle, but you would think, the worst had happened, suddenly he developed a limp.  the pulled muscle is in his arm, so I am not sure how it caused a limp.  Add  to that it also changed his voice.  I can't understand him as it is, but the pulled muscle brought on a tiny little whiny voice.

I kept hanging on.  I really thought I was doing pretty good until===

I went to the computer to order some Mexican food Steve wanted.  He thought he could hold a fork, holding a coffee cup was out of the question, but, a fork would  be okay.  As I  put in my order,  with a company I have used for over a year,  it suddenly would not accept my card and asked for another one.  I put in another one, nope!! not good enough.  Now, it wanted me to changed my address.  How would they deliver my food if I changed my address??  What do I change it to? 

                                            Any reasonable person would stop right there.  Call the company, right?  you would calmly ask what was happening. Nope, not me! I lost it, after trying over and over to make it take my card.  Again, why would you do that?

I went straight to Facebook and expressed my frustration. After this, I will never condemn people that do that.  It is temporary insanity, at least I hope it is temporary. 

I have gone back and cleaned up my mess, but as I was once told. If I came to your house and threw garbage all over your floor, even if I cleaned it all up, I still have left a bad impression and I fear I have left a bad impression. I hope the rest of the story will be a good one.  I can say it was brought on by isolating  myself from the world,  but we all know, there was no excuse for bad behavior.

I love the plains

Among other favorite places, the plains are one of my favorite places.  I have many friends, that say it is just a bunch of nothing.   Miles of nothing, I guess they are not looking.

For one. a lot of my food comes from the plains.

Wheat fields are so beautiful, to think a farmer has plowed these fields, seeded and harvested.  Just gives a new meaning to a loaf of bread.

At the fair I always head right to the booth that belongs to the wheat framers wives. They have a cinnamon bun, made from a secret recipe, only the upper wives know this recipe. I always get enough to take home.

Night brings a whole new meaning to sunset.

Step one

 You need to start someplace and for me that was my front porch.  My very neglected front porch.  There will be no before pictures.

I picked the front porch, because that is where I welcome guest and it should be welcoming. Also I read blogs😉  very inspiring front porches are on blogs and don't forget pinterest.

First, I just needed to get mine clean.

Bistro set, gift from my sister

I need ideas here.  I am not super fond of this, but it does cover the wall for now. I am open to all suggestions.

Across from the table set, is the swing.  Made by hubby.  The wood is clear cedar, milled in his mill.   Love to sit here and read.

That, is where I am on this journey.  I guess it is time to check pinterest.

I am open to all suggestions, so jump right in.

I am good enough

 Those words keep running through my head.  I am good enough, I do deserve nice things.

where did all this come from, I am not sure, but, I think it has to do with getting thrown into care taker role.

Everything I was doing, was for someone else. To make sure that someone was comfortable, full, clean and for as much as I am able happy.

So, I stopped doing anything and everything, that I considered extra.  Things as simple as setting a pretty table, my mind would go to why bother!

So--I declare today step one day.

I am going to make those special napkins, I am going to decorate my little front porch.

I am going to tell myself, I do deserve nice things.

Lets go Mountain Biking

                Live in the mountains, then get yourself a bike and explore the mountains.

Well, those days have passed for me, but my son really loves being in the mountains and heads there anytime he has a chance.

 

He really, got back into it, after he injured his back at work.   

The doctor told him to help heal his back and prevent further injury, he should strengthen his core.

 

He went out and bought this:

And did this

 and this

and even this

People come from miles around just to see our mountain flowers

They put on a real show.

Then you send all your pictures to mom

Becoming Minimal

Part of the downsizing process for me, was not to become a minimalist.

In fact, I didn't know there was such a thing.  My daughter was the first to clue me in, when she started 'helping' me.  With her, "you don't really need that mom" talk.

We downsized because of health reasons.  Going from a five bedroom, three bath home, with formal dinning room, to a (gasp) two bedroom two bath home.  Needless to say, in the move a lot of things got tossed!

I confess, I was very upset.  I needed my stuff.   

Not even what I thought of as a home, this move took me to a mobile home.

Pam on her Everydayliving blog had a give away.  A book!  Called!!

Biblical Minimalism.   Even if I didn't win the book and I never win anything, I was going to buy the book.  I felt It was the help I needed in letting go.

If you need a visual of where your things go, that you have hung onto Well, here is just what happens  to all those (treasures)

This is not my place!  Not my mess, I didn't think to say that. I just wanted to say, to all , still hugging your stuff, this is what your kids will deal with.

There were three load like this , taken out.

This must have been the best of the stuff.  You know, the stuff worth saving😕

I am not 'there' yet.  Probably never will be, what I do know is, it is okay to throw it out.

I don't know what made them decided this was worth saving???

again, not mine!

NOT PERFECT

No perfection here!

I have been  working on these pocket prayer quilts for awhile now.

Sometimes they go together pretty easy and other times it is just frustration.

What is a pocket prayer quilt?

It is a tiny quilt measuring 2 inches x 2 inches, with a tiny cross inside.

You can then carry the tiny quilt in your purse or pocket and through out the day, you can hold the tiny quilt, let your fingers find the tiny cross and remember who is in control.

Some were not turning out, without a flaw.

I had to go back and fix the mistake.  Most of it was working with the sewing machine. 

It had no patience for such tiny seams.

As frustration built, I thought isn't this what the cross

is all about?  

Imperfection, is what we all face and the cross gives us

a look at who is perfect.  who is going back and fixing our mistakes.

I am making these for the patient's in the oncology dept. at our local hospital .

I hope they don't mind if there are imperfections in their little quilt. 

I hope these bring some peace and just let people know, they are loved and being prayed for.