Even the word caretaker can mean so many different things. Caretaker of a garden, a daycare, those seem to be okay caretaker jobs.
Taking care of a loved one in failing health, well that is different. I am having a hard time even believing there are people that chose to do caretaking as a job!
I am a accidental caretaker. I didn't chose this, I don't even know how to do it. Yet, it is something I do every day 24 hours a day. Do I have to? Not really. There are places that take in people who have Alzheimer/ Dementia.
I chose to learn this job, to do it the best I can because I love my Steve with all my heart.
The biggest challenge so far for me, which surprises me is taking the time to care for me. Kind of like the caretaker needs a care taker. The hospice nurses are great about asking me if I need anything, they ask "What can I do for you?"
I have to do it for myself. I have to answer to me. I make promises to myself and then I break those promises. what kind of friend does that? I have a volunteer, that will come in and stay with Steve, while I go do something and I actually set a time for her to come and for me to go and I want to break that promise to me. the promise that I will go out and at least drive to a store and look around.
I break out in a sweat just thinking about it. My scheduled day to go is tomorrow and I want to cancel.
We have an amazing valley, so full of beauty, yet I stopped looking, stopped exploring, stopped living.
I quit on me.
Nonie, you are an amazing woman taking care of your sick husband full time. I remember when my mom and dad were sick, all us kids took care of them, especially my middle brother, who didn't have a family, so did much more than all of us. But I remember that was my life for awhile, and it's hard to think of anything else besides our loved ones who need so much attention and care. But I think we do need to get out and browse through a store, or go to a dessert shop and get a treat, and do something for ourselves in the middle of it all. We come back refreshed and ready to take care of them again. You are so good to take care of your husband, and I just want you to know you are stronger than you think. Hang in there, dear Nonie, and find comfort in your friends and family, and yes, that caretaker who comes in to take over when you need a break. She is wonderful for doing so.
ReplyDeleteSending love and comfort today.
~Sheri
ps.....I love this photo, it's really pretty. Did you take this?
Deletethank you so much, My son Tony took the picture, he is big into mountain biking and gets some incredible pictures.
DeleteI don't even come Close to knowing how you feel but others are right! Get out of the house when you can. You can't take care of him if you are in depression.
ReplyDeleteSending you a BIG HUG and lots of prayer...
HUG
Donna
Give it a try, even if you don't stay away the whole time. You might find it is not as bad as you are thinking. It would be so good for you. Good luck.
ReplyDelete