Tuesday 20 June 2023

Enter grief brain

 As the days went by, my thinking became worse and worse.  I always have paid my power bill the day the bill came. I was shocked when I opened my bill this month to see it had doubled.  When I took a closer look, I noticed I had not paid last months bill. I don't even remember getting it.

I found  I was forgetting things I have done over and over a million times, now I could not even begin to think about how to do it.  I am not remembering to do even simple things like cook my favorite meals.

Of coarse this scared me!  Now what??  Well, now what is leading to something new, called Grief Brain, or widows brain. where the brain has become so over loaded it has little room left for functioning.

Hopsice suggests I journal, having this blog already set up I will do just that.  I have no clue what to expect from this.  All I know is in some ways I feel better knowing it's  a "normal" process.  Some ways it scares me even more.

So if you dare follow me on my journey and if you are also on this journey we can go through it together.

I am calling this day one. because it is the first day of my discovering that I am normal. At the same time as not being even close to normal.

 Hospice of the Western Reserve - "Grief Brain" What's Going On? (hospicewr.org)


  1. Yes, we go through so many difficult things with our bodies and minds when there is grief or loss in our lives. Or even when we have an overload of things to take care of. It's hard to focus. I will certainly follow along with you, dear Nonie. And our blogs are like our journals, so you are wise to write down a few words along with your beautiful pictures. I appreciate the pictures you share every time I visit.


    1. Thank you, so glad you like the pictures of our beautiful valley.

  2. I've experienced the same things, but it does get better in time. Right now you have to remember everything that you normally took care of plus all the added things that your husband did. That's a lot! I have a hard time remembering to put the garbage can out, that was always Steve's job.
    Now when I think about it even if it's the day before, I make myself a note and put it on the bathroom mirror. I also make lists and they help me through the day to get everything done that I need to get done. I'm adding you to my prayers, take good care of yourself and try to find little ways to help your memory like making lists and hopefully they'll take a little stress off.
    God bless you and I'm going to be watching your journal to see if you're doing better.
    Connie :)

    1. Thank you so much Connie. So good to hear from someone that has also been through this, it came as a surprise to me and knowing you helps so much.

  3. The loss of one's soulmate can be devastating..And that's a sad word for it. I know the loss...
    One foot in front of the other...truly, one day at a time. Grief never goes away, it just changes as time moves along.
    Much love to you sweet lady...

  4. Nonnie, I had always paid the bills...so paying them after Ted passed was nothing new for me. But I became scared I would forget. So now I have a little ring binder where I write the name of the bill , the amount and when I paid it and what check number...as I never pay on line, too old school for that. At the bottom of that page, I will write any extra payouts. I have a new page for each month. Honey that might help. Hugs to you. Blessings, xoxo, Susie

    1. Susie, thank you that is a great idea. Being caretaker for so long I also paid all the bills, but even with that it was the first PUD bill I forgot to pay. So that's a great idea.