Thursday 22 June 2023

New Meaning

 I want to start by thanking all of you for taking the time to give me some help. I will follow  your advice. 

Also the saying "Be kind to yourself" has taken on a complete new meaning to me.  I have a better understanding of what my mind and body are going through.  I do some pretty silly things, not even knowing I am doing it. 

I filled (or thought I did) the watering can, so I could water the few plants I have on my porch. I went to pick it up, expecting it to be heavy and of coarse it wasn't. I didn't put any water in it.  Thats just a tiny something, I do that all day with everything!! But now I have a bit of insight as to what is going on with me, so I don't get upset with me. 

Reading is not possible. I was reading a series of books  called the Elm Creek quilts series, by Jennifer Chiaverini. Now, I don't remember who is who and with a series, they speak often of people you should know, if you are reading the series. It's okay, I know why now, as before I found out this grief brain is a real thing, I was sure I was losing my mind.

I don't know how long all of this takes. Maybe I will never be the same, right now I feel like I will never go back.  I told my son I will not be doing the grocery shopping this week. I can use Insta cart if I need anything.  Last week, I had a full blown panic attack.  I looked down at my hands and they were shaking so hard, the only way I could control them was to hang tight to the cart. I was only a few isle in, when I decided enough was enough and headed to the checkout.  I forgot how to swipe my card, and of coarse that just caused more panic.  The gal at the register was so kind and soft spoken, I know think she has been though that before. 

So, the adventure as I will call it, continues. I am just trying to be kind to myself.


  1. BIG HUG to you Nonie...You've Got This!!

  2. I'm so sorry you had a bad experience at the store, Nonie. That gal at the register sounds like she was compassionate. We need more people like her in the grocery stores, schools, banks, just everywhere we go. Yes, be kind to yourself. And I love this photo, it's exceptional.


  3. Hang in there, Nonie! I think you are having a tougher time because your days were so full of taking such good care of your Sweetie for so many years! Care giving is not for the faint of heart! Maybe a list of To-Do things on a dry erase board will keep the urgent chores a priority. Then, do things that make you feel better. I'm hugging you, too! KarenVA